You don’t do all that for somebody you aren’t really interested in. I mean, he had to get up the nerve, look you in the eye (or write you a note), get made fun of by his friends, and then wait nervously for you to say yes. For those of you already doing it, high five for bravery.Ĩ0s Rule #1 – If a boy asks you out, he probably likes you. If you had said the words “online dating” in the 80s we would have wondered what laundry had to do with your love life.Īnd so at this time, I would like to enumerate for you lucky souls who are NOT negotiating this newly-laid digital landmine, or maybe those of you who are jumping into those waters again, what is it like to be a teenager of the 80s dating in this new millenium. Whether I follow them or not is not the point. This time, I am all grown up in my not-too-shabby-for-my-age body, possibly with some raging hormones (which are likely menopausal), having some idea of what I am doing, because this time I KNOW the societal norms that tell me how to proceed. But at least, I thought, this time I had experience. I was scared enough as it is, with my previously unscarred heart now battered and slightly bruised.

Caught me totally off guard with that one. But the one thing I did not expect is that DATING HAS CHANGED. Stepping back out into the world of dating as a single woman in her 40s, with almost grown children watching, has been daunting. Whether we followed them or not is not the point. We were trying to act all grownup in our awkward bodies with our rampant hormones and having no idea what we were doing, guessing at societal norms in order to know how to proceed. Still, these were the times I knew, along with the rest of my contemporaries. Which, I suppose, was fairly naïve considering dating in the 8Os was not very much like dating in the 50s, which is equally not like dating in the 20s. It never occurred to me they might be variable. But there were guidelines we pretty much all knew ahead of time.

Some were just, you know, how it was done. I remember pretty distinctly sitting at the dinner table telling my dad that I had been asked out for my first date, and having to ask his permission to go. But for a legitimate date, one that involved alone time between me and A BOY, I had to wait until that magical age of teen maturity. That’s not to say I didn’t hit the occasional basketball game with a “friend” or double-date for the movies (that we walked to). When I was a teenager, my father told me I was not allowed to date until I was 16. But I think you will find some wisdom and humor. No author/writer lessons here today or Author Interview. I am sure you will love it as much as I did. This is a Facebook post from my daughter that I wish to share with you (with her permission).

The Hourglass by Sharon Struth